A Means To Sort

Pinback, "Logo". It's on a new playlist (on my most prized earthly possession, my iPod) that i've named "Elizabethtown". Why, you're right, that is a movie. It is in fact dedicated to the film. After seeing it i spent the next hour and a half acquiring the soundtrack, adding my own similar selections and creating the 106-song (and growing) playlist. It's designed to accompany and evoke the mood drawn out by the movie itself; at least the way i experienced it. I added songs from the soundtracks to "Moonlight Mile", "Garden State" and "Wonder Boys", all of which have a comparable feel. So that's where i am musically.

Now for mentally.

I've been stuck in this cave for the last week or so with nothing to occupy my mind save the television and the various entertaining media one can experience with it. Women's Curling, Elizabethtown, Grand Theft Auto. I've only gotten a decent amount out of one. GTA sucks out intelligence and requires very little other than hand-eye coordination. Women's Curling has brought me pain. They're out of metal contention due to five losses out of six games, and my crush on Cassie (while cute, innocent, and all that) has aroused the "where's my future wife at?" question, opening a lonely door.

So that leaves Elizabethtown as the winner.

It's an excellent film and if you haven't seen it already, it's certainly got my recomendation stamped on the case. Top right corner. "Adam's 'See It' Stamp". Relatively speaking, i don't put it on a lot of movies, but the ones that make it to the stamping floor are worth a view. The Fifth Element, Road To Perdition, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (not to be confused with the new one, titled "Charlie & The..."), Meet Joe Black, Keneth Branauch's Hamlet, and many others. But anyway, see Elizabethtown if you haven't already. But make sure of three things (which apply to any film i recommend, except comedies):

1. I don't know if you do this, but some of my friends do and it really annoys me. Don't fast-forward through the opening titles. Let the DVD (or VHS) start from the beginning and go at the pace the movie chooses. You can skip previews if they come up, that's fine. But once the distribution company's logo comes up (Paramount, Universal, Warner Brothers, ...), that's it. Leave it alone after that. Let it be.

2. Make sure you won't be disturbed. Shut off your cell phone, get offline, go to the bathroom, eat, whatever... Don't get up. Don't let anyone into your cinematic world until it's over. You don't want the flow to be interupted.

3. Don't watch it with anyone who will talk. If you have a friend or family-member (or even complete stranger) who you know will not make a sound (except laughter when it's appropriate), then you can go ahead and watch it with them. But if not, then watch it by yourself. I did. I'm glad.

Oh, and kind of a suggestion, but not a rule...sit through the end credits, at least for a couple minutes. Let the film sink in.

Okay, on to other things...

While i was taking a walk tonight, i passed lots of houses. It's really difficult not to. I've tried. i passed one particular red house, cozy and inviting. In the window was a small table with a lamp. Why this particular house caused the proceeding thought, i can't say. But it did.

What makes a house a home?

What is it about a particular place that makes it desirable to return to? What's inside that brings you back each day? What keeps you from picking up and going somewhere else? Is it family? Friends? Necessity? What is it?

I don't have your answers, you do.

Lately i've been feeling like i don't really have a home. I have a house that's been mine for the last year with two cats for roommates. I have a house a few towns over where i'll go when this house-sitting job is done. I have a family (nuclear, extended, and church). I have houses where my friends live and i'm welcome. But where's my home? What's missing here that i feel a desire to go find? Is it her? Is it belonging? Is it adventure? Something new? More Bob Dylan songs? What is it?

I don't know that anything i've said, or will say, will lead me to any particular conclusions on the matter. These are the emotional inquisitions my heart and mind are presently dealing with.

I feel like God is doing some rearranging of the variables in my life to prepare me for what lies ahead. Certain friends are fading out. Others remain. He's teaching me to trust Him on the whole girl issue. There are so many options with girls. Just standing somewhere like the mall, a restaurant, any highly populated area. Brunette, blonde, rehead, tall, short, thin, petite, tan, pale, eyes (blue, green, brown), trustworthy, adventurous, inquisitive, shy, outgoing, friendly, reserved, comforting, edgy, dangerous, sweet. There are hundreds more. It's overwhelming really. So i'm not going to deal with it. My wife is out there somewhere and when the time is right, God will introduce us. So until then, i'm not going to worry about it. So that's enough of that.

My head's just a big box with a question mark sharpied on the outside. I'm trying to sort through its contents. That's all. I guess that's really what all of my entries are. A means to sort in small quantities, giving what's left a little more room to spread out (until the next batch fills the space up again). But that's life.

James Brown sang it well:

That's life.
That's what the people say.
You're ridin high in April,
Shot down in May.
But i know i'm gonna change that tune
When i'm back on top of June.

Said that's life. (uh!)
Funny as it may seem, funky as it may seem.
Some people get their kicks (ah) from steppin on a dream
But i don't let it get me down.
Cause this old world keep goin around. (uh!)