Think Next Time
Dave Matthews Band, "#34"
I'm writing a little in frustration at the moment, but also with a new understanding of something stupid that i just did. For those of you who got to read the entry that would originally have been here, "Liquid Thought", good for you. For those of you who haven't, perhaps i'll put it back up at a later time.
Amy, i hate to admit this because i hate being wrong (though i like to think i'll admit when i am), but you're right. My heart is something to guard, to keep safe, to allow my Creator and certain trusted friends into. No one else. I didn't want to see that though. I wanted the movie-goers dream of pouring the heart out into an open crowd. But who's in that crowd? What're they going to do with it?
DAMNIT! I'm so frustrated. But do you know who i'm frustrated with the most? Myself. I kept saying to myself, "Adam, you always let yourself get carried away and you make rash decisions based on," yep, you guessed it, "the spirit of the moment." All this energy comes pouring into my heart and mind, and rather than filter it out a little at a time so as not to make quick, unwise decisions, i let it do exactly that. And then five minutes later (or in this case, a few days), i'm looking at myself saying, "What the hell did you do that for?"
This is not to say that a moment can't lead one to do wonderful things. It can. But at least in my case, it can also lead me to do very unwise things. It's something i'm trying to work on. Lord, help me out. Of course, You're already doing that aren't You? You've never given up on me and never will. You rock, God.
Alright, that's that.
So, again, for those of you who got to see that bit of my heart that sat here for the past few days, congrats. Do with it what you will. For those of you who didn't, maybe another time. Whatever the case, i've learned.
Control yourself, Adam.
I'd write more, but i'm so freakin exhausted. No sleep for me again tonight.
Sigh.
I'm writing a little in frustration at the moment, but also with a new understanding of something stupid that i just did. For those of you who got to read the entry that would originally have been here, "Liquid Thought", good for you. For those of you who haven't, perhaps i'll put it back up at a later time.
Amy, i hate to admit this because i hate being wrong (though i like to think i'll admit when i am), but you're right. My heart is something to guard, to keep safe, to allow my Creator and certain trusted friends into. No one else. I didn't want to see that though. I wanted the movie-goers dream of pouring the heart out into an open crowd. But who's in that crowd? What're they going to do with it?
DAMNIT! I'm so frustrated. But do you know who i'm frustrated with the most? Myself. I kept saying to myself, "Adam, you always let yourself get carried away and you make rash decisions based on," yep, you guessed it, "the spirit of the moment." All this energy comes pouring into my heart and mind, and rather than filter it out a little at a time so as not to make quick, unwise decisions, i let it do exactly that. And then five minutes later (or in this case, a few days), i'm looking at myself saying, "What the hell did you do that for?"
This is not to say that a moment can't lead one to do wonderful things. It can. But at least in my case, it can also lead me to do very unwise things. It's something i'm trying to work on. Lord, help me out. Of course, You're already doing that aren't You? You've never given up on me and never will. You rock, God.
Alright, that's that.
So, again, for those of you who got to see that bit of my heart that sat here for the past few days, congrats. Do with it what you will. For those of you who didn't, maybe another time. Whatever the case, i've learned.
Control yourself, Adam.
I'd write more, but i'm so freakin exhausted. No sleep for me again tonight.
Sigh.
posted by Still Daddy at 12:06 AM
3 Comments:
There are times where we all act too quickly. Don't beat yourself up about it, it happens. What's important is that our God is a forgiving God, and a Lord who cares for his children. You'll be okay, and maybe slowly you will be able to overcome what you don't like. God is always in control, even when it seems He could not be farther away. Adam, "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (phil 4:10)." And also remember that, "the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7)." I know, you've probably heard all of this before, but take peace in knowing that you have not been left alone to deal with this by yourself. Your Heavenly Father is with you always.
Love ya cuz
Don't worry Adam! We all do things like that.
I've had my fair share of girlish, memorable "Bridget Jones" type maneuvers, which I won't share here or I'll turn bright red!
Remember, those who love you, love you no matter what! Like me!! :)
Woah Adam. Don't be so rough. I congradulate you. You are better at controlling yourself than I have ever been [as seen in PinkCosmopoltians...] Now that it may actually matter, I'm scared that I'll mess up and mess up bad.
Pray. God will show you the way. I only wish I was as confident as I sound.
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