A Month of Cleansing #11 (Halloween)
I must say, before i begin this entry, although...i suppose this is the beginning isn't it? Well, before i begin what i really wanted to convey, i must say that this "month of cleansing" has gone horribly. HORRIBLY! I've watched TV or a movie just about every night, i've eaten poorly (not as much, which is good, but what i did eat wasn't exactly the healthiest), i didn't stick to my strictly fruits & veggies diet (yes...yes, i ate meat), and i haven't spent nearly the amount of time with God that i wanted to.
With that in mind, i'm left with a couple choices. Do i make November a month of cleansing and work at it with more effort than i did this month? Do i kick myself several times over for nearly missing my October goal entirely? Perhaps both? Maybe secret option D, eject. But i don't want to eject. Sure the weather gets a little rough, but my plane's in tact. The pilot just needs to step up and fly. Offer prayers up for me please...
Joe's here, so i have to go, but i'll give you a sample of the things to come in this entry...
pillow cases
merging vs. changing
candy favorites
And now i'm back to satisfy the hunger in you brought on by the previews above. What's good for you is that you can time travel strait from the above paragraphs to the below. I had to wait for two days to get to the lower portion.
On Halloween, the greatest purpose that one has for dressing in costumes and systematically covering every doorfront on your street and the surrounding neighborhood is the candy. It would probably be easier to just spend a few bucks at the grocery store for a bag or two of candy, but where would the fun be in that? The cashier's not going to ask you in a tolerably condescending manor, "And what are you?" And even if (s)he did, answering back with, "I'm a half chicken, half butter dish, Buick-eating grilled chicken salad," just wouldn't hold its true sway. Whatever the demonic or otherwise beginnings of Halloween happen to be, i for one am glad that the costume-wearing, trick-or-treating tradition grew from it.
Over the years there has amassed a great selection of costumes with which to don oneself in the spirit of Halloween, the method of candy toting also has its varieties. There's the hollow plastic pumpkin with a black handle, the bucket, the bag, and certainly others that have been used by a child or two. But, among them all, is the classic pillowcase. It's my personal favorite both for its versatility in the field and for the challenge of completely filling it. To do such an improbable task, the house must be left by at least 4:30, and returned to by no earlier than 9:00. The neighborhood must be covered swiftly without hesitation or concern for other participants or noncombatants. The pillowcase is a sign of a true trick-or-treater.
When returning to your home after a night of candy acquisition, however long it may have lasted, the first and best thing to do is immediately empty the contents of your container (which is hopefully the aforementioned favorite). The candy spills out, forming a pile of many colors, shapes, and smells. Certain pieces are immediately dismissed, to be given out later to a friend, a sibling, or perhaps the neighbor's fish. The remaining sugar variants are sorted into their individual clans which are sorted collectively into a flavor hierarchy, depending on your own appetence. In my confectionary assemblage things like tootsie rolls, jawbreakers, bubble gum (the generic one in that yellow-blue wrapper), licorice, twizlers, and other similar candies got sent to the nethermost rung. The top was always dominated by the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'd put them aside to be used in moderation until all the candy was finally consumed. They were like gold.
So Joe was on the phone with me during a portion of his drive down from Boston, and he asked, "What's the difference between changing lanes, and merging lanes? Aren't they the same thing? I mean, when you're changing lanes, aren't you merging lanes as well? They've gotta be the same thing, right?" That may not be verbatim, but it's the general idea that matters. To answer his question, this is what i came up with...
Changing:
To change a lane, one must be in a lane. Changing, by definition, involves a state of being, and an altered state of being. Your automobile, and consequently you, move from lane A into lane B. Changing therefore involves two lanes. The lane you were in, and the lane you're moving to.
Merging:
To merge into a lane, one does not have to be in a lane to begin with. Merging, by definition, involves only movement into, not from. Merging therefore involves only lane B.
I hope that clears up any confusion.
With that in mind, i'm left with a couple choices. Do i make November a month of cleansing and work at it with more effort than i did this month? Do i kick myself several times over for nearly missing my October goal entirely? Perhaps both? Maybe secret option D, eject. But i don't want to eject. Sure the weather gets a little rough, but my plane's in tact. The pilot just needs to step up and fly. Offer prayers up for me please...
Joe's here, so i have to go, but i'll give you a sample of the things to come in this entry...
pillow cases
merging vs. changing
candy favorites
And now i'm back to satisfy the hunger in you brought on by the previews above. What's good for you is that you can time travel strait from the above paragraphs to the below. I had to wait for two days to get to the lower portion.
On Halloween, the greatest purpose that one has for dressing in costumes and systematically covering every doorfront on your street and the surrounding neighborhood is the candy. It would probably be easier to just spend a few bucks at the grocery store for a bag or two of candy, but where would the fun be in that? The cashier's not going to ask you in a tolerably condescending manor, "And what are you?" And even if (s)he did, answering back with, "I'm a half chicken, half butter dish, Buick-eating grilled chicken salad," just wouldn't hold its true sway. Whatever the demonic or otherwise beginnings of Halloween happen to be, i for one am glad that the costume-wearing, trick-or-treating tradition grew from it.
Over the years there has amassed a great selection of costumes with which to don oneself in the spirit of Halloween, the method of candy toting also has its varieties. There's the hollow plastic pumpkin with a black handle, the bucket, the bag, and certainly others that have been used by a child or two. But, among them all, is the classic pillowcase. It's my personal favorite both for its versatility in the field and for the challenge of completely filling it. To do such an improbable task, the house must be left by at least 4:30, and returned to by no earlier than 9:00. The neighborhood must be covered swiftly without hesitation or concern for other participants or noncombatants. The pillowcase is a sign of a true trick-or-treater.
When returning to your home after a night of candy acquisition, however long it may have lasted, the first and best thing to do is immediately empty the contents of your container (which is hopefully the aforementioned favorite). The candy spills out, forming a pile of many colors, shapes, and smells. Certain pieces are immediately dismissed, to be given out later to a friend, a sibling, or perhaps the neighbor's fish. The remaining sugar variants are sorted into their individual clans which are sorted collectively into a flavor hierarchy, depending on your own appetence. In my confectionary assemblage things like tootsie rolls, jawbreakers, bubble gum (the generic one in that yellow-blue wrapper), licorice, twizlers, and other similar candies got sent to the nethermost rung. The top was always dominated by the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'd put them aside to be used in moderation until all the candy was finally consumed. They were like gold.
So Joe was on the phone with me during a portion of his drive down from Boston, and he asked, "What's the difference between changing lanes, and merging lanes? Aren't they the same thing? I mean, when you're changing lanes, aren't you merging lanes as well? They've gotta be the same thing, right?" That may not be verbatim, but it's the general idea that matters. To answer his question, this is what i came up with...
Changing:
To change a lane, one must be in a lane. Changing, by definition, involves a state of being, and an altered state of being. Your automobile, and consequently you, move from lane A into lane B. Changing therefore involves two lanes. The lane you were in, and the lane you're moving to.
Merging:
To merge into a lane, one does not have to be in a lane to begin with. Merging, by definition, involves only movement into, not from. Merging therefore involves only lane B.
I hope that clears up any confusion.
posted by Still Daddy at 8:00 PM
5 Comments:
Peri and I used to the same thing! We'd dumb our candy on the floor and sort them into piles. Then we'd count them to see which one of us beat the other in general amount. After this we would scope eachother's candy and see if there were any fair trades that could be made. :-) Reeses were always the "gold" from the bunch, and anything not chocolate (not including smarties and sour tarts) were imediately dismissed and, yes, pushed to the other end of the floor. Excellent.
I was under the impression that merging isn't something a person or vehicle does, but rather that it's something the lanes do. It's when two lanes become one. You're a relationship man; you should be totally familiar with the idea. So when a sign says, "Merge left" it's only indicative of the behavior of the lane one presently occupies, rather than an instruction to the driver.
...of course, that theory only works if every infinitesimally small segment of road is taken as its own reality, and if the progression of road in the direction of its legal usage is equated with the notion of time. We all know that two lanes can't actually become one lane. Matter and energy can be neither created nor destroyed.
Yes, i'm posting a comment to my own blog. Actually i'm posting it to Ross. Ross, my dear boy, merging does correspond to one lane merging into another and not the driver, when it's a 'warning' given by a roadsign. However, when one moves from lane A to lane B, regardless of the possible presence of instruction by the gods of the road, one is 'merging' into lane B. No, it doesn't make sense in the literal meaning. But you do merge into another lane. And besides that, i thought you didn't drive?
I was meandering the streets of boston today in my auto-mobile (consuming fuel as a good consumer does), and I believe I've found conclusive evidence that will allow us to put this issue to rest. As I was galavanting about I kept seeing these signs that said simply 'MERGE.' Then two lanes would be coming one, and I acting as a travel or component of that lane merged into the new lane or old lane or what have you. I believe that 'MERGE' is both a noun and verb in this sense. Stating the action 'MERGE' as well as stating the sheer physicality of the situation, the lanes 'MERGE,' or perhaps it is a verb for the lanes as well. I think that in this argument it is best to look at input and output values associated with lanes as opposed to the actions of the driver. You seen when you 'MERGE,' you begin with 2 lanes however you end with 1. If you change lanes you begin with 2 and end 2. Using these values we can clearly see that It is impossible to merge as a sub action of changing lanes: i.e. When I change lanes I am not merging into traffic. I can only merge when my lane becomes bonded with another lane: i.e. I merged into traffic when coming onto the highway for my lane disappears. I see only two problems with the conclusion I'm drawing a)when a lane 'ends' it does not merge although the physical act is the same and b)that being that for ever action there is an equal and opposite reaction, for the life of me there does not seem to be a 'reverse merge' if you will. To address point a, I've found that the term 'MERGE' is only used on sign-age when you are changing roads, routes, etc.. However for a lane to end you remain on the same road. To address point b, my conclusion are inconclusive. For when you are driving and a new lane appears; for example a slow vehicle lane, all the sign says is slow vehicle lane, or this lane right only. The lane creates itself with no reference to the action but rather to the purpose for it's existence. Therefore this lane creation if you will is not the opposite of merging and therefore holds no baring or sway in this argument. Additionally, exit ramps are a whole-nother breed of beast. For exit ramps do indeed perform the exact opposite of a merging action. However the beauty of the fact that a reverse merge is labeled an exit solves many problems relating to the original equation. For it does not change anything, and point b holds no relevance nor disproves my original proof. Long story short kids, change lanes it's easier on the brain. : )
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