Cuddling For Instance

Has it really been a week since my last post? Because that's ridiculous.

Thomas Newman, "Meet Joe Black" soundtrack (minus the big bandish music)...just the original compositions by Newman. Later it will change to the "Road To Perdition" soundtrack, but i don't know that until the third paragraph. You do.

When i got home from work today...actually, i should update you. I'm working at Jensen Machine now. It's a small, privately owned machine shop that's been running and in the Jensen family for many years now. My father is the foreman there, which is mostly how i got the job. I'm not machining anything yet, but i do hope to be, and seeing the great multitude of orders lying around the shop gives me hope that i soon will be. They mostly manufacture bearings (spelling?), but they do the occasional special request as well. If you were to stand anywhere in the building and look around you, your eyes would be met with bearings on carts, tables, palettes and boxes. I had the challenging job of rearranging all the free-floating items so the fork lift could be driven from one end of the shop to the other for the moving of a few machines with a combined weight of about two thousand pounds. Men doing what men do best; moving things with machines both simple and complex.

I'm in an odd mood. I want a girl. That could be taken as perverse and maybe even pedophilic. Let me change it. I want a chick's company. I'm just in one of those moods where i feel a deep desire for the touch of a female; a hug, a kiss, a rub, nothing particular. God wants me to find Him, but instead i'm trying to distract myself with temporary things. Cuddling for instance. Cuddling is one of my favorite physical things to do, and i don't get it that often. Pam and i cuddled a lot when i went to her house the other night. I had one of the nicest nights i've had in a long time. We went to Starbucks, Blockbuster to rent Magnolia, then we cuddled the rest of the night and talked about things past. Eventually, when things quietted down, we spooned (LOVE it!) and i fell asleep. I shot up off the couch at 4 a.m. when she woke me up wondering if she should just let me sleep. I'm totally getting off on a tangent. Where was i? Oh yeah, cuddling.

Cuddling is a comfort activity for me, and not just on a physical level. My mind goes blank (which is a really nice feeling for us over thinkers), my soul quiets down, and my heart beat slows to a gentle pulse. Suddenly the world is manageable and the troubles that reside within it vanish. There is only her and me. And that's how it works for me. It takes all the excess grime away and leaves me with the clean peace i so love. I also like falling asleep with someone, but since i'm not conscious to actually enjoy the moment, cuddling ranks higher.

I guess that's how i feel right now. I just need some kind of distraction. Either that or i'm really tired and should get some sleep before engaging in any further forms of living. Unless my batteries are fully charged, i just don't function well. Rather than use reserve power, i think i'll go recharge as much as possible before the morning finds its way to my window. It will have a tough time getting past the shades, but it will eventually find its persistent way in. So crafty.