A Study In Black
Daft Punk - Something About Us
I'm sitting in the shop immersed in dense summer hues of warmth and humidity. The Poplar trees have begun sending their invasion force of seeds stealthily entering with the breeze. I was listening to Kings of Leon's "Come Around Sundown" followed by CAKE's "Showroom of Compassion" when it finished.
Today marks Day One of a one month plus visual media fast (today through the end of June). This is what I'm thinking about in the heat. I'm "fasting" from movies, TV and video games. This for a few reasons:
1. I am so addicted to it that I barely make time for anything else. I blew through all seven seasons of Star Trek: TNG in four months, while keeping up with other current series (Fringe, Person of Interest - which I did drop when CBS ceased offering it streaming online).
2. I NEED time with God. My attitude, as I discovered in conversation with Him a few days ago, has been one of "God, you're in the way of my doing this." I was feeling guilty because I should've been spending time in God's presence. I don't like feeling guilty. But, as it turns out, I was blaming God for the guilt, rather than recognizing my idolatry of VM. I'd come to the end of the day and think, "Well, God, looks like there's no time left for you." That needs to change.
3. I feel....stupid. I mean really stupid. I'm having trouble concentrating, remembering things, recalling appropriate vocabulary when needed. I search and search for a word, knowing it's in there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it. I firmly believe this is tied to how much VM I have saturated my mind with. I want to un-stupify myself.
Last night, while watching the season 3 finale of Star Trek: DS9 (I'm working my way through TNG, DS9 and Voyager - I'm not bothering with the original which I never really got into, or Enterprise which doesn't seem worth the time) when I realized that tomorrow (today) marks the start of the VM fast. Anxiety crept right in and I wasn't sure if I could actually do it. I genuinely am fearing withdrawal. I'll more than likely get impatient with Alyssa as I begin this system flush, and I'll wonder what there is to do.
But I need it. I really need it.
And the purpose of my writing all of this down is to reflect on this process. Will it ultimately be a good thing? What will I discover about God and about myself during this time? Will I continue avoiding VM or will I return to the same habits once this is over?
Care to find out with me?
I'm sitting in the shop immersed in dense summer hues of warmth and humidity. The Poplar trees have begun sending their invasion force of seeds stealthily entering with the breeze. I was listening to Kings of Leon's "Come Around Sundown" followed by CAKE's "Showroom of Compassion" when it finished.
Today marks Day One of a one month plus visual media fast (today through the end of June). This is what I'm thinking about in the heat. I'm "fasting" from movies, TV and video games. This for a few reasons:
1. I am so addicted to it that I barely make time for anything else. I blew through all seven seasons of Star Trek: TNG in four months, while keeping up with other current series (Fringe, Person of Interest - which I did drop when CBS ceased offering it streaming online).
2. I NEED time with God. My attitude, as I discovered in conversation with Him a few days ago, has been one of "God, you're in the way of my doing this." I was feeling guilty because I should've been spending time in God's presence. I don't like feeling guilty. But, as it turns out, I was blaming God for the guilt, rather than recognizing my idolatry of VM. I'd come to the end of the day and think, "Well, God, looks like there's no time left for you." That needs to change.
3. I feel....stupid. I mean really stupid. I'm having trouble concentrating, remembering things, recalling appropriate vocabulary when needed. I search and search for a word, knowing it's in there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it. I firmly believe this is tied to how much VM I have saturated my mind with. I want to un-stupify myself.
Last night, while watching the season 3 finale of Star Trek: DS9 (I'm working my way through TNG, DS9 and Voyager - I'm not bothering with the original which I never really got into, or Enterprise which doesn't seem worth the time) when I realized that tomorrow (today) marks the start of the VM fast. Anxiety crept right in and I wasn't sure if I could actually do it. I genuinely am fearing withdrawal. I'll more than likely get impatient with Alyssa as I begin this system flush, and I'll wonder what there is to do.
But I need it. I really need it.
And the purpose of my writing all of this down is to reflect on this process. Will it ultimately be a good thing? What will I discover about God and about myself during this time? Will I continue avoiding VM or will I return to the same habits once this is over?
Care to find out with me?
posted by Still Daddy at 5:54 PM
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