On Difficult Battles and Shopping With Women

Last night was difficult.

I am torn between two things. Do I write, elaborating in a reasonably respectful level, or do I give it a general approach? The reason for the difficulty in deciding is that the parties involved are not aware of my feelings for this past evening's events. And it would thus be a bit unfair for them to happen upon those feelings here in a public blog as opposed to a heart felt conversation between just us two. And so you see my problem. Do I or don't I?

I guess we'll all find out.

I've been in Wolcott since Friday night, spending my precious and limited leisure time with my amazing girlfriend. We've been enjoying each other's company and the events that have taken place over the past two days, including a shopping trip with Jean (Alyssa's mom), Emily (sister), Kaylee (sister) and Jimmy (mom's boyfriend). If any of you read this, please excuse any misspelling of your name. Correct me if you like.

Clothes shopping with women is an entirely different experience than it is with men. Although, truthfully, I can't say that i've ever been on a guy's group shopping trip. I guess we just don't do that. Anyway, it's an interesting experience. I was a foreigner in the women's section, always watchful of the exit aisles and knowing which direction to dart in if an escape was necessary.

Their shopping method is very interesting. First, they scan the racks. Then, when at least seven items of clothing have been plucked from them, a course to the fitting rooms is plotted. I'm not sure exactly what happens inside there but somewhere between entering and exiting, five clothing items are abandoned. The two that make it have survived stage one. This same process gets repeated a few times until a total is reached (it varies) and those that have made it through the entire ordeal are purchased and brought home to be worn a few times, after which they remain dormant in the closet for a year or so until they are rediscovered. They may be worn again; they may be disposed of or given away. One never knows.

I want to stop here and give an extremely large "THANK YOU" to Jean, the founder of our trip. Many purchases were made, including some of my own, and all were paid for (including lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, "The Corner Pug") by her. I was not expecting at all that I would be included in these monetary exchanges. So when I was, I was very greatful. Thank you, Jean. Thank you for the warm and welcome place I have in your family.

Moving on.

Joe, as it happened, had ventured down to Wolcott with Ross for a graduation party. I never discovered who it was for. I suppose it doesn't really matter. The funny thing about that is that upon his arriving in Wolcott, I was arriving back home at the mall. It's a good half hour trip between the two, so for both of us to simultaneously be entering the other's weekend habitat was quite situationally humerous.

Post party, Joe and Ross waited for a bit so that when our humble band of shoppers returned from our clothing rack adventures, we could hang out. Good plan, I thought. We met them at a local deli and guided them in.

"Wow," i thought, "I finally get to introduce Joe to Alyssa's sisters and dad, if he happens to be home." He wasn't. "And, he can see where i hang out on most weekends," and all that sharing with a friend jazz. Well..


Originally I had intended to, in a non specific way, lament over the trouble shooting I went through during the evening. However, I'm not going to do that for two reasons. One, I just don't feel like doing that. And two, Joe and I have made amends for the day in question. SIDENOTE: It has been over a week since I started this entry: END SIDENOTE

I could go up and read all that I've blogged because, in all honesty, I have no recollection as to what I typed up. But that just wouldn't be my style. It shall remain as it is, untouched by even the hands that created it...at least for now.

Although...I do want to say one thing.

While Joe was at Alyssa's, there were several things that agrivated me. They shouldn't have gotten to me; they were small and, in the long run, insignificant. But slowly and surely they built up anger inside me. The kind where my stomache gets all tight. It's hard to do that.

In sharing with you what it was that gave me insight on the foundational source of that anger, you may question my sanity. But trust me. Read on and you'll understand.

"Alyssa, do you have any GLAD bags?" Joe asked.

"What size?" she asked in response.

"Joe, you're joking right?" I asked. I wanted to be sure before Alyssa put effort into something that was going nowhere.

"Yeah," he said not looking up from the TV.

I walked into the kitchen, ever so much angrier. Again, do not judge based on this one incident you are being shown. Your sight of the evening is limited; there was a lot more to it. So shh. Just listen.

I told her to put the bags back, they were just joking (but angrily; not at Alyssa). And then it hit me. I suddenly knew why I was angry. I found the bottom of it all.

You see, Alyssa has the spiritual gift of hospitality (among others). It's a very evident gift and one that I am learning much from. And so, since there were guests over, she was being her hospitable self. She was just trying to cater to the needs of people around her and promote a warm and comfortable environment. She's very good at it.

Her hospitality was being taken advantage of.

That's what it all accumulated to. My heart added it all up and there it was. And wow did it make me angry. Like I said, that stomache tight angry. And it takes a lot for me to get there.

I was so angry in fact that I was tempted to just walk on over to him and demand that he leave. "Joe," I would have said sternly, "it's time to go." I think the only things holding me back were that it wasn't my house and I knew it was wrong. Not wrong to feel that way but wrong to take it out in anger. But that brought me to another realization.

I really care about Alyssa. Like...really.

She was being taken advantage of. If that force had been put on me, I would have taken it. But it was put on her and that got me...well, angry. Very much so. I wanted to take care of it. I wanted to take that source of hurt and anger and get rid of it.

I wanted to fight for her. I wanted to step up to he (or that) which dared take advantage of her and mistreat this beautiful woman. Sword drawn, shield ready. And wow did that feel good. I didn't want to sit there idley while she was in this wrongful situation. I didn't want to watch, observe, take notes. I wanted to get up and do something about it. I wanted to run into battle to defend her.

So be wary, you foes who challenge Alyssa's beautiful heart and soul; a creation that God Himself delights in. I may not be much but I will fight. I will draw my sword in defense of that which is righteous and good. I may come out scarred and weary from difficult battle. That's certainly a possibility. And there may be battles that I cannot win.

But come what may, God with me, I will fight.